Struggling to Regulate Your Nervous System? Go Deeper With Somatic Emotional Processing
When Nervous System Regulation Doesn’t Work (And What Actually Helps)
For many of us, the first time we discover nervous system regulation, it feels like a revelation. Finally, a way to calm the storm inside, to quiet the racing thoughts, to bring a sense of control to the waves of anxiety or overwhelm that seem to take over at the most inconvenient times.
And while regulation is a profound and necessary tool for healing, there’s one way we often misuse it—one that can leave us feeling even more stuck, confused, and disconnected from ourselves.
It happens when we use regulation not as a way to support ourselves, but as a way to suppress what we don’t want to feel.
Many people are trying to use nervous system regulation to suppress or silence their emotions, rather than support them. True healing is about welcoming all parts of ourselves, making space for emotions to be felt and processed, rather than suppressed.
The Hidden Mistake We Make With Regulation
There’s a moment in almost every healing journey when we try to use nervous system regulation as a way to not feel our emotions. And if that’s where you are right now, I want you to know—this is so normal.
Of course, we don’t want to feel discomfort, anxiety, or grief. We don’t want to sit with the parts of us that ache, that hold old wounds, that carry unmet needs. It makes sense that we would reach for regulation tools—breathwork, tapping, Havening, meditation—with the hope that they will take away what feels too much.
But here’s the paradox: regulation doesn’t work when we use it to push our feelings away. In fact, suppression is one of the most dysregulating things we can do.
Suppression Is Dysregulating
When we suppress our emotions—whether by pushing them down, judging them, or trying to make them go away—we create internal stress that the nervous system registers as danger.
Even if our intention is to feel better, the message the body receives is: “This feeling isn’t safe. I have to shut it down.” And this creates more internal pressure, not less. It adds tension, tightness, and resistance to what’s already painful.
Suppression can look subtle: skipping over your grief with a quick breathing technique, or using a calming practice to override your anger instead of exploring it. But the impact is real. When we exile our feelings, our nervous system stays activated—because something inside us is still waiting to be felt.
True regulation doesn’t come from controlling or managing emotions. It comes from allowing them to be seen, felt, and metabolized—gently, in the safety of your own presence.
The True Purpose of Regulation
So if regulation isn’t about making our emotions go away, what is it for?
Regulation is what allows us to turn toward our emotions instead of feeling overwhelmed by them. It’s what gives us the safety and inner resource to hold our feelings without drowning in them.
Regulation doesn’t eliminate emotions—it expands our capacity to feel them.
It allows us to:
Soothe our nervous system enough to stay present with what’s arising.
Hold our feelings with compassion instead of fear.
Increase our ability to be with discomfort rather than suppress it.
Create an inner space where emotions can move through us, rather than getting stuck inside us.
Because the truth is, emotions don’t need to be “regulated away.” They need to be felt.
Try This With Me
Take a moment right now to notice something you're feeling. It could be an emotion or a sensation in your body. Just check in.
For example, right now, I notice that my jaw feels tight.
Now, try saying to yourself, I’m NOT feeling that.
I’ll say, My jaw is NOT tight right now.
How does that feel? Most people notice a sense of internal resistance or stress. It’s like trying to push a wave back into the ocean.
Now resist it even more: I hate my jaw tension. I’m going to get rid of it. I never want to feel this again. RELAX already!
What happens in your body? Usually, the tension increases. The more we reject something, the stronger it becomes.
Now, just acknowledge what’s true: My jaw feels tight right now.
How does that feel different?
Most people notice that as soon as they stop fighting what’s real, there’s a small shift—maybe just a softening, or a breath, or a little more space inside.
Learning to Trust Your Feelings
What if, instead of fearing your emotions, you saw them as guides?
What if every wave of anxiety, every pang of sadness, every moment of anger held within it a message—about what you need, about what old wounds are asking for attention, about what in you is longing to be witnessed and understood?
Emotions, even the most painful ones, are never random. They are echoes of our past, expressions of our subconscious, signals that something within us is asking for care.
And when we meet them with gentleness instead of resistance, something shifts. The emotions begin to soften. The nervous system starts to settle. The inner war dissolves.
Not because we regulated them away, but because we listened.
Because we trusted that our emotions were never the problem—only messengers, waiting to be received.
About This Somatic Emotional Processing Exercise
If you're ready to go deeper—beyond surface-level regulation and into real emotional healing—I invite you to try the guided practice inside this week’s podcast episode.
It’s a Somatic Emotional Processing Exercise that combines the power of Regenerating Images in Memory® (RIM) with the gentle curiosity of Iffirmations—a compassionate, body-centered way to meet the emotions you may have been trying to push away.
This practice is designed to help you:
✨ Feel safer in your body
✨ Acknowledge and soothe difficult emotions without being overwhelmed
✨ Let go of old pain that’s been stuck or unprocessed
✨ Experience more clarity, inner spaciousness, and calm
You don’t have to figure it out in your head. You don’t have to force anything to change.
All you have to do is show up, gently, and listen.
Try this Somatic Emotional Processing Exercise now!
Episode timing:
00:00 - When Nervous System Regulation Doesn’t Work (And What Actually Helps)
01:38 - Suppression is Dysregulating
04:40 - The Power of Accepting Your Feelings
05:49 - The True Purpose Of Nervous System Regulation
08:42 - Somatic Emotional Processing Exercise: Soothing And Regulating Breathing
12:53 - Somatic Emotional Processing Exercise: Feeling Your Feelings in A Body-Centered Way
18:02 - Somatic Emotional Processing Exercise: Accepting And Understanding Your Feelings
30:20 - Conclusion
Iffirmations To Accept And Understand Your Feelings:
What if it’s okay that I’m feeling this right now?
What if lots of people struggle like this sometimes?
What if there’s nothing wrong with me for feeling this way?
What would it be like to soften my heart to myself right now?
What would it be like to soften my heart toward this feeling right now?
What if all of my feelings are real and valid?
What would it be like to acknowledge what I'm really feeling and stay connected to myself?
What if I can embrace this feeling as an invitation to go deeper?
What would it be like to understand this feeling more deeply?
What if this feeling actually makes sense in a way?
What if these feelings makes sense because…
Because what I’m really feeling deep down is…
Of course some part of my feels this way because…
What I really want or need when I feel this way is…
What I’m realizing now is…
How it feels to realize that is…
Giving voice to anything else that wants to be known until that feels complete.
READY TO GO DEEPER ON YOUR Somatic HEALING JOURNEY?
Enroll in my free mini-course: The Feel it to Heal it Mini-Course
In 5 powerful mini-lessons you’ll:
Connect with your body and emotions in a deep and supportive way.
Learn exactly what it means to “feel it to heal it” (as well as experience 4 body-centered exercises to do just that).
Gain insight into your emotional patterns and knee-jerk reactions to life.
Learn a powerful mind-body technique to soothe your distressing emotions so you can increase your comfort with your emotions.
Use your deepening body awareness as a tool for healing and authentic living.
How was that Somatic Emotional Processing Exercise for you?
What shifted within you? And what do you understand now that you didn’t understand before?
Please let me know in the comments!
➡️ If you enjoyed this episode, I would love it if you would subscribe, rate, and review this podcast!
And please join me every Friday on this beautiful journey out of your head, and into your more embodied and authentic self. 🩷🩷🩷
Thanks so much for joining me today!
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Enjoy more like this: Regenerating Images in Memory meditations, Somatic Emotional Processing, Nervous System Regulation
About me
Hey, I’m Karena!
I’m a somatic emotional healing coach here to help you quickly identify and heal the subconscious blocks, old emotional wounds and self-sabotaging core beliefs that are holding you back!
Want to go deeper? Sign up for the Feel it to Heal it Mini-Course now!
Learn a body-centered approach to deep healing + wake up to the wisdom within!